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Fannie Tucker

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Garden Gnome Sex Party Kindle Edition

by Fannie Tucker (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

3.1 41 ratings

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When Jenny adds a little whimsical flavor to her garden with a trio of gnome statues, she never suspects what's in store. When the sun goes down, Jenny discovers her new lawn ornaments are ready to get busy, and they know how to use those pointy red hats to please a woman!

Explicit adult material. Three on one action, hard pointy hats, and gnomehoods as big as any man's! 3300 words.

Excerpt:

The sun was low in the sky now, casting long shadows over her garden. She looked around and furrowed her brow. Her new gnome statues were gone! Her head whipped around, but the back gate was still locked, and she was alone.
"Hello, pretty lady!" The high voice - almost a squeak - made Jenny jump in surprise. She looked down at her feet, and her jaw nearly dropped. One of the gnomes - Bimpo, she thought - stood there, very much alive.

"What the... what are you?" Jenny asked.

"We're garden gnomes," another voice said to her left, not as squeaky as the first, but older somehow. Jenny turned and saw Fudwick standing on the arm of her bench. Just two feet tall, the little gnome somehow seemed bigger. "That's what you ordered, isn't it?"

"I ordered lawn ornaments. You're supposed to stay where I put you."

"How long do you think I can stare at a bunch of goldfish?" Loopwyn had clambered up on the bench beside her.

"This isn't happening," Jenny said. She had always been a practical person, not prone to flights of fancy or daydreams. Her well-kept garden was her one indulgence.

"If you say so," Bimpo said from between her feet. His head just cleared the edge of the bench, and she saw that he was looking up her dress. She gasped and brought her knees together. The gnome looked offended. "What? Doesn't hurt to look, does it?"

Jenny nudged Bimpo away with one foot. "I'm not going to have this conversation with you. You're not even real. None of you are!"
"I resent that," Fudwick said. "We're as real as red roses!"

"I'm dreaming," Jenny announced. "I must be."
Loopwyn giggled. "If we're a dream, you don't mind if we do this then, do you?" He waddled along the bench and nestled up against her ribs, then wrapped his arms around her breast. "Oh, that is nice!" He hugged and squeezed her with his tiny arms, and Jenny's heart beat faster. If this is all a dream, what can it hurt?

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B008TDN926
Publisher ‏ : ‎ (December 26, 2013)
Publication date ‏ : ‎ December 26, 2013
Language ‏ : ‎ English
File size ‏ : ‎ 386 KB
Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
Print length ‏ : ‎ 21 pages

Best Sellers Rank: #231,651 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #1,179 in Humorous Erotica (Kindle Store)
- #1,310 in Paranormal Erotica (Kindle Store)
- #1,492 in Humorous Erotica (Books)

Customer Reviews:
3.1 41 ratings

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About the author

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Fannie Tucker

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Fannie Tucker likes driving too fast, cussing too loud, and writing stories that explore sexual fantasies of strong women rendered powerless by lust-filled men and monsters. She seeks to give her readers fresh, original stories that sometimes shock, always titillate, and leave them guessing until the very end.

She first discovered her talent for steamy prose while passing dirty notes to her boyfriend during English 201. When her professor confiscated one of the notes, he kept her after class and recommended a new and interesting line of work. She's never looked back.

Fannie is the author of over 180 works of steamy horror, romance, and adventure ranging from the kinky to the downright weird. She lives in California with her husband and a Dachshund who rules them both.

Customer reviews

3.1 out of 5

41 global ratings

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Crane

great

Reviewed in the United States on December 30, 2012

Verified Purchase

its a great little read. and was sent to my kindle in no time I am really impressed with it

4 people found this helpful

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Lyric

wild imagination

Reviewed in the United States on October 25, 2023

Verified Purchase

Gnomes…. Really????
The picture was definitely planted vividly but what bothered me SOOOOO MUCH was allllllll of the grammatical errors. They were hard to get past. Kinda messed the book up. Still an extremely quick entertaining read. Let your imagination SOARRRRRR!!!

Helpful

mjmreviews

Short but Effective Sexual Comedy

Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2018

Verified Purchase

If only Snow White had run into these guys instead of the 7 dwarves!!

This gardener's attraction to her 3 new - and named - garden gnomes leads to a comical orgy of sexual fulfillment and gnomic discovery. Prepare for an uninhibited and raucous ride!

Helpful

GnomePatronus

Short, Spicy, and Gnomie

Reviewed in the United States on November 3, 2023

⭐️Overall 4/5
🌶️ Spice 3/5
🖤Dark 0/5

Her new shiny gnomes finally arrived. Jenny puts the gnomes in the garden and falls asleep reading her spicy book. Then she wakes up, or does she to the three gnomes wanting to tend to a different garden. It was only a dream…it was only a dream…. It is a quick book with less than 25 pages, it is a single scene. If you are looking for a quick read to see what it is about, go for it. If you are looking for a book with plot, depth, and meaning, then this is not for you.

Reviewed in the United States on November 27, 2022

How is anyone rating this below 5 stars? My only complaint is that it was too short! No pun intended.

Reviewed in the United States on October 24, 2023

The wereturkey book was better, but this was a little gem. It had me cackling a few times. 😂 ridiculous good time!

Helpful

Naughty Book Snitch

funny and very erotic short story

Reviewed in the United States on July 2, 2016

This is a really silly, funny and very erotic short story. Jenny loves her garden and spent a little extra money ordering 3 garden gnmoes for her beautiful garden. Fudwick, Loopwyn and Bimpo are the Gnomes that arrived. Jenny immediately placed the gnomes in the garden then went to read one of her steamy romance novels (sounds familiar ;) ). When Jenny started feeling a little horny and touching herself while reading, the Gnomes started moving a little closer to her. I’m sure you can imagine what happened next.

Overall, this is pretty good. I enjoyed it and it made me laugh.
Full review here... [...]

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Lauren

It's 20 minutes of your time. Just read it.

Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2018

I always knew garden gnomes were devious little sex creatures and this story just confirmed my assumptions. My question is, will the gnomes come back for round II? The readers demand a sequel!!

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